


What Do We Call "Us"?

by maybetomorrow



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M, Flash Crossover, Hurt/Comfort but mostly comfort, Mon-El POV, Post-breakup, self doubt, the what-are-we talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 23:58:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10502166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybetomorrow/pseuds/maybetomorrow
Summary: After bringing Kara to Team Flash, Mon-El begins to question the nature of his [ex-]relationship with Kara.“Standing at her bedside, trying to come up with the words to explain who he was — to introduce himself to her other set of super friends, he realized how stupid he had been.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> I was rewatching the Flash episode and watching when Mon-El said he was her friend, and it seemed like he was trying so hard not to say boyfriend, and I got emotional and this happened. Whoops. Sorry I’m really only a little sorry.

It wasn’t until Barry asked that Mon-El fully noticed exactly how fragile the ground he had been standing on actually was.He could feel it crumbling — the foundation upon which he had started building a life for himself.A life where he was happy.Where they were happy.Where he could be the man he wanted to be and he could be by Kara’s side.

But he had been the only one to actually try and give it a name.And even that had upset her.All he had done was say they were dating.Which wasn’t even true, considering that with all the chaos with her father and then his parents and her ending it, they hadn’t even had time to talk about actual dates. 

She hadn’t even wanted to tell anyone.And it didn’t really set in until he saw her laying comatose in Star Labs that he realized maybe she was more tentative about their entire relationship.She was always the one pulling away.And maybe it was because, deep down, she really didn’t feel the same way.That maybe there was a reason she was pulling away.

He had let her be the one to decide when and how far anything went.He had been content to be her partner.Just her friend.It was her choice to be something else.And that they wouldn’t be anything at all.

Then he’d gone and told her he loved her.Maybe it was too quick, since they were hardly even a couple.But it was how he felt, and he’d learned it was better in the long run with Kara to bite the bullet and say how he was really feeling sooner.So he said it, knowing that she wanted nothing to do with him.He had to tell her before she refused to speak with him ever again.Because, once again, he found himself desperate to be honest with her, without thought of the consequences and his own heart breaking a little every time.

Whatever they had was over now, and he maintained enough distance to stay out of her way.But then that alien prisoner swooped in and attacked her.And in a moment he let go of any plans to keep away because he had to save her — had to bring her back.He watched helpless as her Earth-1 friends hooked her up to a breath support system and started measuring her vitals, praying to Rao that he wouldn’t truly lose her.Not like this.The other way… he could live with that.But he couldn’t just _lose_ her.She was his everything.The best thing that ever happened to him.He loved her.He didn’t want to ever have to consider living without her.

Standing at her bedside, trying to come up with the words to explain who he was — to introduce himself to her other set of super friends, he realized how stupid he had been.He threw himself heart first into a relationship he probably wasn’t ready for.And one she certainly wasn’t ready for.He put his heart on the line and then proceeded to be his old thoughtless self and ignored his own doubts — he was so occupied being happy for the first time in her couldn’t even recall how long.And where had that gotten him?Only a mess of heartbreak, a handful of bittersweet memories, and an ex-lover he was still trying desperately to hold onto.

He called first dibs on knocking the life out of that prisoner and Barry gave him a strange, knowing look tinged with confusion.

“Who are you exactly?” Barry asked.

“My name’s Mon-El.I’m Kara’s…” _Boyfriend_ , he thought.He gritted his teeth, biting back the first syllable.“Friend.”It still didn’t feel right.Because they weren’t friends.They were hardly ever actually friends, were they?Barry looked confused.

“Or more — more than friend?”His explanation was getting worse.Barry looked as lost as Mon-El felt.

“We’ve been kissing a lot.”A wave of shocked faces surrounded him, and for a moment he regretted trying to explain his relationship with Kara to a group of complete strangers.Because if Kara was awake right now, she would probably be yelling at him because he said it all wrong or because he embarrassed her again.But if Kara was awake, she’d be nowhere near him — she wouldn’t even be able to look at him.But even, if for a moment she could stand him long enough to explain the two of them to Barry, he knew what she’d probably say.

That they were nothing.Absolutely nothing.

That was a thought he didn’t want to fixate on.So while H.R. mumbled something and Barry and Iris grimaced, he tried to shake it off.

“Look, hey.Whatever’s going on between me and Kara, I cannot leave her like this.Okay?I need to get her back.”

And it seemed, no one would fault him for that.

***

He didn’t want to count the hours he had stood at her bedside, resisting every urge to grip her hand or touch her hair or even talk to her.Because all he wanted was for her to know that she wasn’t alone and he was going to do whatever it too to get her home — safe, alive, and happy.He wanted to give her something to hold onto.Something to ensure she’d keep fighting to come home.But he wouldn’t be that thing.So he stayed quiet anytime he and Iris were left alone with the two sleeping heroes.It would be better for her if he wasn’t there.Still, he felt selfish, because he needed to be there with every fiber left in him.

He nearly laughed when the Music Meister told him that he could save Kara.Because if love would save them, Barry and Iris would be covered.But he and Kara?It didn’t matter if he loved her or not.Love was nothing if it didn’t go both ways.And they were nothing now, weren’t they?Instead, he furrowed his brow, doubtful, and resume his diligent watch over her bedside, watching her vitals fall and feeling his own heart plummet. 

Then Kara was dying — really dying, and he took whatever chance he could to save her.So, despite his own disbelief, he crossed into her dream.He leaned over her as she lay in a city street, the epitome of beauty, a bulletproof woman taken down by a gun. 

And if he had been sitting at home on the couch with Kara, he would have laughed a little, and she would have shoved him with a smile on her face and told him to be quiet and watch.But it would have been funny, because in a masterful way, the Music Meister turned this scene into a moment of infinite cosmic irony.But he was living it and witnessing it.And if she didn’t survive this, he was going to end that monster, lessons be damned.

He pressed his hand against her side with just enough forced to slow the bleeding.But it wouldn’t be enough.He cradled her neck as he stared at her, willing himself to come up with something. 

“I’m so sorry I lied to you,”he said, terrified of whatever outcome might follow. 

“I forgive you.”He could see the pain on her face as she said it, but she gave him her biggest smile.The one she flashed him in moments of unfettered happiness.And for a moment, it seemed like they were still together.Still happy.But he couldn’t be happy now.Not when the love of his life was dying in his arms and he couldn’t do anything about it.

Kara was taking pained breaths, and it hurt watching her try to keep that smile on her face as she gave what could easily be her last few.Because she could only be doing it for him.There was no one else to fool.

As her breaths grew weaker, his fear grew.And when he stopped hearing them, he leaned in and kissed her, hoping beyond hope that for once life would be like one of those fairy tales Kara showed him and she would come back to him.

Then, suddenly, they were both back in Star Labs, and she whispered his name, and a profound relief washed over him.The relief only grew as the moments progressed.The Music Meister left them with congratulations and his lesson.And during that exchange he realized, not only did Kara remember the dream, but she really did forgive him.He was elated. 

They were preparing to say their goodbyes, when Barry approached Kara to talk.

“How are you guys doing?”Barry asked.

“Yeah, I think we’ll be okay.”Kara was bouncing on her heels, radiating joy, and he was absolutely floored.Seeing her happy again.And hearing her say they were okay.He couldn't keep himself from beaming.

Kara turned to him, a stern expression on her face, and his blood froze.“Although if you lie to me again, I will drop a mountain on you.”

“Wow.You mean figuratively?” he asked.

“No.I mean geologically.”But she smiled as she said it. 

“Okay.”Kara laughed and turned to kiss him.She returned to her conversation and Mon-El tried not to get his hopes too high, although it may have already been too late.They still needed to talk.To resolve things.But they had to get home, and once they did they would have all the time in the world.

***

When they got home, Kara informed Mon-El that she wasn’t even a little tired, and despite his own exhaustion — mental and physical — he let her convince him into a movie night.She let him lay down on the couch, his back nestled between the arm and back of it, before she settled between his limbs and pulled his arms around her.Then she clicked her remote and turned to him smiling. 

He would have thought starring in her own musical might have left her avoiding them for a while, but she turned on Funny Face, and split her gaze between him and the television the entire time.Every time he caught her gaze, she turned shyly back to the television set like a child who’d done something wrong but felt no need to apologize for it.

When the credits began rolling, she tilted her head back to look up at him.The movie was already long out of his mind, which had swiftly returned to thinking about what today meant for the two of them.What they were capable of.

“What’s on your mind?” she asked. One of his hands had fallen into a loose fist by her side.Kara grasped it and pulled his hand open, tracing the lines of his fingers from tip to palm to wrist.

“We never really talked about what we were — you know, before.”She inhaled sharply, and he worried that he upset her. 

“We didn’t…”She trailed off, but continued her tracing.

Mon-El shook his head.“No, we didn’t.”

“See I didn’t think to because I thought we were on the same page.”Kara’s words confused him, and he turned to watch her.

“I guess I just assumed because _I_ didn’t need to explain us to everyone — and I didn’t want to — that _we_ didn’t need to talk about it either.And now I think I see that _you_ needed to.”She slipped her hand into his, squeezing it before she continued.

“See, the more I try to put a label on this — this _thing_ , the harder it becomes.Because you're my partner above everything, and in everything.And that means more to me than ever calling you my boyfriend.Or my mate.Either way, neither of those words seems good enough to describe you, so I guess —I shouldn’t have assumed.I just never thought I needed to assure you of what you are to me.”

“Are?”He was dumbfounded.He still found himself, after everything that had happened since she woke up, shocked that she’d still want to be with him after what he’d done.What he’d kept from her.

“Of course, are.That is, so long as you still love me and want to be with me.”

“Do you really need to ask that?”

“Apparently.”She smiled up at him, relishing in her own silly joke.Mon-El grinned, barely holding back a laugh.She adjusted herself against him so she could stretch up and kiss him. 

“That would make me happy.” He finally replied.

“Good,” Kara said.“I like it when you’re happy.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can join the superhiatus update squad by chilling with me on tumblr: karadanversprince. I'll be your SuperFriend and we can talk feels and hiatus struggle.
> 
> Let me know how you felt about this one! Thank you for reading <3


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